


Christmas Presents

by thequidditchpitch_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders' Era, Romance, The Quidditch Pitch: School Days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-20
Updated: 2006-07-19
Packaged: 2018-10-27 18:10:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10814112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequidditchpitch_archivist/pseuds/thequidditchpitch_archivist
Summary: During Christmas break of sixth year, Sirius asks Remus a question.  SLASH Remus/Sirius





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

  
Author's notes: There will be three chapters in this fic. The first is Remus's point of view, the second is Sirius's, and the third is the conclusion  


* * *

Remus ran down the hallway, skidded around a corner, slammed open a door of the room he thought would be empty, and nearly collapsed in relief when he saw that it was, indeed, empty. He leaned back against the nearest wall and sank slowly to the floor, burying his face in his arms and taking great, shuddering breaths as he tried to bring coherency back to his thoughts. _/You think too much, Moony./_ Warm blue eyes, shiny black hair that looked so soft, that he could so easily run his hand through...with an audible cry he wrenched his thoughts from that oft-tread path through his mind. Thinking of him was, after all, the whole reason he was hiding in an empty classroom in the middle of the night during Christmas Break.

"Remus?"

At that softly whispered question of his name, Remus Lupin put down the book he was reading in bed, taking of his reading glasses and setting them aside before turning his attention to the dark head that was peeking through his bed curtains.

James and Peter had returned home for the break, but both Sirius and Remus stayed at Hogwarts, Remus because his family was visiting relatives in France, Sirius because he wanted to avoid his family as much as possible. _'How someone so courageous, loyal, intelligent, kind, not to mention gorgeous, came out of a family of the most stiff-necked, religiously pureblood, "holier-than-thou" bunch of--'_ Remus's thoughts were interrupted as Sirius delicately cleared his throat. Remus grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry Padfoot, I was just lost in thought. Get in here," Remus said, patting the space beside him on the bed. Sirius grinned happily and scrambled up to take the space next to his friend.

"What were you thinking about?" Sirius asked, stretching out beside Remus and propping his head up on one hand. Remus felt his breath quickening every so slightly as he and Sirius looked at each other, soft golden brown eyes meeting warm ocean blue. Remus looked down, unable to meet that piercing gaze another moment longer, and only then realized how close together their bodies were lying. Only a few inches separated his body from Sirius's...just then he remembered that Sirius had asked a question.

"Er...lots of things, really. Mostly about...Christmas presents. Tomorrow is Christmas, after all," Remus replied, rather proud of himself for that quick lie. Remus certainly wasn't about to tell Sirius what he was _really_ thinking about. Sirius didn't like talking about his family, and Remus didn't want to embarrass himself by telling Sirius how Remus felt about the other boy. Sirius most certainly didn't return his feelings, and he might be disgusted if Remus told him about some of his fantasies...those were rather embarrassing, if rather pleasant...

"Christmas presents! Our Moony, thinking about something as mundane as Christmas presents? Who are you, and what have you done with my Remus?" Sirius teased gently, the corners of his lips quirking upwards, eyebrow raised in mock consternation. Then he laughed, and Remus automatically laughed with him, though he started trembling in the face of Sirius's words... _'/my Remus./ He called me /his/ Remus. Merlin...wait. Breathe. He was teasing, he was /just teasing./ Sirius doesn't know what he was saying, because he was /just teasing./--'_ Remus's thoughts were again cut off abruptly as Sirius leaned closer, now near enough that Remus could feel the other boy's warm breath on his face. Remus breathed in deeply; _'Mmmm...strawberry and chocolate and Sirius musk...ohhhh...'_

"What were you _really_ thinking about, Moony? You're _far_ more likely to be thinking about some obscure Defense text you want to find than something you'll find out tomorrow," Sirius said, pulling back a bit. Remus bristled.

"I _do_ think about more than classes, you know. There _are_ more important things than schoolwork," Remus retorted.

"Then what _were_ you thinking about?" Sirius persisted, right up in front of Remus's face again. Remus's breathing hitched, and he could feel himself growing harder. His face flamed, and he _really_ hoped that Sirius didn't see either in the flickering candlelight. In an attempt to keep Sirius from noticing his body's reaction, Remus went on the defensive.

"What does it matter what I was thinking about? Why _did_ you come over here, anyway?" Remus regretted his biting tone as hurt flashed in Sirius's blue, blue eyes, but-- _'Thank Merlin!'_ \--Sirius moved away, so Remus could try to get himself under control.

"I wanted to ask you something," Sirius said humbly, hanging his head, his eyes looking up at Remus through his fringe. _'Oh Merlin, not the puppy eyes! I can't resist the puppy eyes...'_

"What is it?" Remus sighed, and gave a half-smile, showing Sirius that all was forgiven. Sirius's head came back up and he grinned, though it faded after a moment, replaced by a look of thoughtfulness. Sirius lay back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. He was silent, and then he hesitantly spoke.

"Moony...what do you think of love?" Sirius asked softly, glancing over at Remus, who stared at him, open-mouthed with surprise at the unexpectedness of the question. Sirius smiled gently and reached out to close Remus's mouth with a finger. Remus's mouth snapped shut, and he blinked.

"Love? Just love in general, or something specific?" Remus asked, amazed at the seriousness of the question. He certainly hadn't expected a question about love from the prankster extraordinaire.

Sirius shrugged. "Both, I guess."

Remus sighed. "I don't know. Love is a wonderful thing, of course, and I assume it's even better if it's returned, but...I don't know. I don't know if it's even a good idea for me to fall in love," he answered.

"Why not?" Sirius exclaimed indignantly. "If it's just the whole werewolf thing--"

" 'The whole werewolf thing,' as you put it, restrains me from doing so many things _you_ take for granted," Remus interrupted. "I'm not allowed to eventually get married, have children, even adopt children, because it's _too dangerous_. I'm not going to be able to get certain jobs, because it's _too dangerous_. The Ministry restricts what I can do, and they're right! It _is_ dangerous for me to fall in love!"

"But how is it dangerous for you to fall in love? I mean, aside from the obvious dangers; I don't think you're likely to bite someone," Sirius argued, looking straight into Remus's eyes. Remus looked away.

"Werewolves mate for life, did you know that, Sirius? If I, and the wolf, fall in love with someone and we mate, then that person and I will be irrevocably bonded. For life. Only when I die will the bond not constrain me," Remus said softly, almost detachedly. "But unless that other person is a werewolf too, they'll have nothing stopping them from someday deciding to leave me."

Remus looked resolutely up at the ceiling, and pretended not to notice when Sirius shifted closer. However, he couldn't ignore it when Sirius brought his arm up to Remus's shoulder and turned him around so they were face-to-face, Sirius's mere inches from his own. _'Those eyes...I wonder if he can see into the depths of my soul...'_ Remus thought reverently as he gazed into Sirius's oceanic eyes and felt his warm breath misting his face.

"You think too much, Moony," Sirius chided gently. Remus's eyes widened; Sirius often complained that he thought too much, but never had the accusation seemed so serious as it did now.

"Sirius..." Remus started, but Sirius held a finger up to his lips to silence him.

"Shh, Remus. Just listen to me for a moment, would you?" Remus nodded, and Sirius removed his finger. "You're selling yourself short, Remus. What if that other person is in love with you too? D'you think that maybe they'll stay with you because they love you and want to be with you forever? You're a wonderful person, Moony, and your love is one of the most precious gifts a person could get."

Remus could barely think. All his thoughts kept jumbling and he couldn't get them into a sort of order. Confusion dominated his normally logical mind, but behind the confusion was hope. _'Does he mean what I think he means?'_ So in an attempt to put his thoughts back in order, he asked, "Sirius...why did you ask me that question?"

Sirius did not ask what question he meant; he didn't need to. Both boys knew what was meant by 'that question.'

"Because I wanted to know," Sirius answered. Remus suppressed a sigh; that Sirius wanted to know was obvious, but _why_ he wanted to know...and Sirius would be more likely to answer if he wasn't pressed, damn him. So Remus waited.

The two boys lay together in silence, though Remus knew Sirius was thinking of exactly how to answer. Finally, Sirius spoke.

"Remus, I...do you mind if I ask a different question? Maybe you'll see what I mean then." Remus nodded, and Sirius asked his question.

"...If you were in love with someone, and thought that maybe the other person loved you too, would you tell them?"

"Sirius..."

"If you really wanted that person to love you back, would you do anything to make that happen?"   
  
"Sirius."

"But if you're afraid that the other person _doesn't_ love you--"

"SIRIUS!"

But it seemed as if a dam had broken inside Sirius, and all his thoughts came pouring out, determined to rush through anything in their way and get where they were going. So Remus did the only thing he could think of to shut Sirius up.

He kissed him.

It shut Sirius up effectively; his eyes widened with surprise and something else--pleasure?--before he closed his eyes and pressed into Remus, who gasped into Sirius's mouth. Sirius snaked his arms around Remus's waist and pressed himself closer; Remus moaned and looped his arms around Sirius's neck. Tongues flitted out and touched, stroking each other hungrily. Remus's mind was filled with nothing but Sirius--the taste of Sirius, the feel of Sirius, the smell of Sirius--and it aroused him completely. His cock hardened, and he could feel Sirius's hardening right next to him, and it was this that knocked him out of his hedonistic stupor. He pulled back with a gasp and scooted away from Sirius, who looked back at him, confused.

"Moony...?"

But Remus didn't answer; he just stared at Sirius, eyes wide, breathing hard, lips swollen from their kiss. _'Oh Merlin, I just kissed Sirius and he kissed me back and he looks like he liked it...oh Merlin, /What have I done?!/'_ Remus, panicked, slid backwards off the bed, picked himself up off the floor where he fell, and took off, hitting the dormitory door at a run and bursting through, leaving a very bewildered Sirius behind.

[](http://forums.fictionalley.org/reviews/newreply.php?threadid=20070)


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius ran around the school, Marauder's Map in hand and Invisibility Cloak over him. As he ran, he cursed himself and his impetuousness. _'If I hadn't asked that question...if I'd just left well enough alone...but Remus kissed me first! Dammit, I'm so confused!'_ Sirius glanced at the Map and saw that he was getting closer; Remus's dot had stopped moving, and briefly Sirius wondered how the hell Remus had gotten so far so fast. He'd probably used a secret passage or two to get all the way from the seventh floor to the second in just a few minutes...Sirius paused outside the door of the room that Remus had stopped in, steeling himself to go in and confront his--friend? Something more?--and remembered what brought all of this on.

_'Just ask the question, you fool!'_ Sirius berated himself as he hesitantly peeked his head through Remus's bedcurtains. There Remus was, absorbed in one of his many books, reading glasses perched adorably at the end of his nose. _'I don't want to disturb him...but if I don't...I'll never know...'_ "Remus?"

Remus put down his book, took off his glasses, and looked at Sirius, though he didn't say anything. The silence stretched and Remus looked deep in thought. Sirius didn't want to interrupt him, but he had to know. He delicately cleared his throat, and Remus looked startled, then grinned sheepishly. _'Merlin, he's adorable!'_ Sirius thought.

"Sorry Padfoot, I was just lost in thought. Get in here," Remus said, patting the space beside him on the bed. _'I thought you'd never ask!'_ Sirius thought happily as he scrambled up to lay next to Remus. He propped his head up on one hand and looked at the beautiful boy lying right next to him. _'He's so beautiful,'_ Sirius thought reverently. _'I wonder what he was thinking that was so interesting.'_

"What were you thinking about?" Sirius asked, meeting Remus's eyes. Brown, with little flecks of gold that seemed to catch the candlelight and reflect it, making his eyes seem as if they were glowing golden. Remus looked down, hiding those amazing eyes. Sirius felt a stab of disappointment, but then Remus answered his question.

"Er...lots of things, really. Mostly about...Christmas presents. Tomorrow is Christmas, after all," Remus replied, and Sirius grinned inwardly. _'So you say, unable to meet my eyes! Christmas presents! You really haven't gotten any better as a liar since second year, Moony m'love. What were you /really/ thinking about, Moony dearest?'_ Sirius thought, amused.

"Christmas presents! Our Moony, thinking about something as mundane as Christmas presents? Who are you, and what have you done with my Remus?" Sirius teased, smiling and raising an eyebrow. Remus looked vaguely surprised, so Sirius laughed, both to help Remus relax and to cover his own embarrassment at his Freudian slip. _'He's not /my/ Remus...not yet, at least. Dammit. I wish he was...ah, what the hell. Might as well try.'_ Sirius leaned closer to Remus, close enough that he could feel Remus's breath on his face. He breathed in, taking in the unique scent of Remus; _'Pine and dewdrops and oranges, and general Remus scent...mmmmmmm...'_ He started growing harder, much to his embarrassment, and really hoped that Remus didn't notice. He didn't want Remus scared off, after all. "What were you _really_ thinking about, Moony?" Sirius breathed. "You're _far_ more likely to be thinking about some obscure Defense text you want to find than something you'll find out tomorrow." Sirius pulled back to look at Remus better, who was bristling.

"I _do_ think about more than classes, you know. There _are_ more important things than schoolwork," Remus replied snappishly.

"Then what _were_ you thinking about?" Sirius persisted, moving in closer to Remus again. Remus's face gained a rosy tint, which he seemed to want to cover up, because he went on the defensive.

"What does it matter what I was thinking about? Why _did_ you come over here, anyway?" Remus growled, and Sirius instantly felt ashamed. _'I shouldn't try to get rid of my nerves by interrogating Remus...okay Padfoot, time to face the music. Just ask him the question!'_

"I wanted to ask you a question," Sirius said humbly, hanging his head and looking up at Remus soulfully through his fringe. _'Let's see him try to withstand the puppy eyes...Yes!'_ Sirius thought as Remus half-smiled, showing all was forgiven.

"What is it?" Remus asked. Sirius looked up again and grinned, glad Remus wasn't mad at him. But soon the grin faded and Sirius thought a bit, trying to find the right way to phrase his question. _'I can't just ask him if he loves me...oh well, I'll just ask a generic question.'_

"Moony...what do you think of love?" Sirius asked softly. He looked over at Remus, who stared at him, open-mouthed with surprise. _'He probably wasn't expecting a serious question from me,'_ Sirius thought. He smiled gently and reached out with a finger to close Remus's mouth. He wanted to let his hand rest there, let the finger touch and caress, but he didn't know what Remus would think about that, so he removed his finger as Remus closed his mouth and blinked.

"Love? Just love in general, or something specific?" Remus asked, looking a bit dazed.

Sirius shrugged. "Both, I guess." _'I hope.'_

Remus sighed. "I don't know. Love is a wonderful thing, of course, and I assume it's even better if it's returned--" Sirius blinked _'Wait a minute, if it's returned? Moony, what--'_ but Remus was continuing. "--but...I don't know. I don't know if it's even a good idea for me to fall in love."

Sirius was indignant. _'Moony's selling himself short again! I wish he would stop it.'_ "Why not?" Sirius exclaimed. _'Probably the whole werewolf thing...not that it stops me from loving him...I'll just tell him that...just tell him...'_ "If it's just the whole werewolf thing--" But Sirius's impending declaration of love was cut short by Remus.

" 'The whole werewolf thing,' as you put it, restrains me from doing so many things that _you_ take for granted," Remus said a bit angrily. Sirius winced almost invisibly-- _'I wasn't trying to insult him!'_ \--but Remus didn't notice. "I'm not allowed to eventually get married, have children, even adopt children, because it's _too dangerous_. I'm not going to be able to get certain jobs, because it's _too dangerous_. The Ministry restricts what I can do, and they're right! It _is_ dangerous for me to fall in love!" Remus sounded so very bitter, and Sirius desperately wanted to just take Remus into his arms and prove how love could be such a good thing, but he couldn't do that until he understood Remus's aversion to love.

"But how is it dangerous for you to fall in love? I mean, aside from the obvious dangers; I don't think you're likely to bite someone," Sirius said, trying to find the answer in Remus's eyes, but Remus looked away.

"Werewolves mate for life, did you know that, Sirius?" Remus said in a detached tone, as if it wasn't himself that he was talking about. Sirius knew about werewolves mating for life, of course; he'd done all sorts of research on werewolves throughout the years and found out many things about them, including their mating habits. But he still listened avidly to Remus, who was continuing. "If I, and the wolf, fall in love with someone and we mate, then that person and I will be irrevocably bonded. For life. Only when I die will the bond not constrain me. But unless that other person is a werewolf too, they'll have nothing stopping them from someday deciding to leave me."

_'So that's what it's about! He can't see why anyone would love him enough to want to be with him forever. Oh Moony...'_ But Remus was looking firmly away from Sirius, so Sirius shifted closer, reached an arm around to Remus's shoulder, and brought the smaller boy around to face him. The two boys stared into each other's eyes for a long moment before Sirius broke the silence.

"You think too much, Moony," Sirius said, and wondered why Remus's eyes widened; after all, Sirius told him he thought too much at least twice a day.

"Sirius..." Remus started, but Sirius held a finger up to his lips to silence him. _'I got this far, so I'm going to see it through. I just hope he doesn't hate me afterwards.'_

 

"Shh, Remus. Just listen to me for a moment, would you?" Remus nodded, so Sirius removed his finger, never mind how good it felt to just touch the satin that was Remus's lips. He didn't want to go too fast, but he certainly didn't want Remus to continue to be self-deprecating, so he continued. "You're selling yourself short, Remus. What if that other person is in love with you too? D'you think that maybe they'll stay with you because they love you and want to be with you forever? You're a wonderful person, Moony, and your love is one of the most precious gifts a person could get."

Remus looked completely shocked, as if someone had hit him on the back of the head with a board. For a moment, he looked completely open, as if all his carefully erected barriers had come down. There was such a mixture of emotions in his eyes that Sirius could only make out confusion, fear, and hope briefly before the mask came back down and Remus closed himself off again. Then Remus spoke.

"Sirius...why did you ask me that question?"

Sirius knew exactly what question Remus meant, but there were so many different ways he could answer that he didn't know exactly what to say. Finally he just went with the most simple, even though he knew that Remus wouldn't be satisfied. He'd just be buying himself more time to think out what he really wanted to say.

"Because I wanted to know," Sirius answered. Remus looked vaguely exasperated with that response, but Sirius had expected that. He knew that Remus would be patient enough to let him think out a response at his own pace, so Sirius took his time. _'Ah, what the hell. Maybe he'll take the hint if I ask a different question.'_

 

"Remus, I...do you mind if I ask a different question. Maybe you'll see what I mean then," Sirius said. Remus nodded, so Sirius took a deep breath and asked his next question.

"...If you were in love with someone, and thought that maybe the other person loved you too, would you tell them?" _'Not clear enough...oh well, I'll just keep asking questions...'_ Sirius was so preoccupied that he didn't even notice Remus saying his name.

"Sirius..."

"If you really wanted that other person to love you back, would you do anything to make it happen?" _'Closer, but not quite...but what if he doesn't...?'_

"Sirius."

Sirius ignored Remus. _'If I don't get it out now, maybe I never will...'_ "But if you're afraid that the other person _doesn't_ love you--"

"SIRIUS!"

But Sirius wasn't about to be stopped, not now that he was finally getting all of this off his chest. He was letting his mouth run away with him, and right then it seemed as if it wasn't connected to his brain at all, because right then his brain was telling his mouth to shut up, that this was too much to dump on Remus right now, but his mouth wasn't listening to him. His mouth wasn't listening to Remus, either, until--

Remus kissed him.

Sirius's brain, which had previously been trying to stop his mouth, decided to abandon that venture completely, as it liked what his mouth was doing at the moment, though it could hardly believe it. _'Remus...is kissing me. Remus is kissing me. REMUS IS KISSING ME! Mmmmmm...'_ was pretty much all his brain could think of at the moment, but Sirius was perfectly glad to give up thinking in favor of kissing Remus back, feeling those satiny lips moving against his own. He closed his eyes and pressed into Remus, who gasped. He wrapped his arms around Remus's waist and pressed closer; Remus moaned and looped his own arms over Sirius's neck. Remus's mouth opened and Sirius's followed suit, their tongues flitting out and touching, sending a shock through Sirius's body. He felt Remus's erection pressing insistently against his thigh, and his own hardened further in response. Then, all of a sudden, Remus pulled back with a gasp, panic in his eyes, and scooted away from Sirius, who looked back at him, thoroughly confused. _'Why did you stop...?'_

 

"Moony...?" Sirius started, but Remus didn't say anything. He just stared back at Sirius, eyes wide and chest heaving, rosy lips swollen from their kiss and slightly open. Sirius thought he had never seen anything more beautiful, but he didn't say anything, just let his love and trust and happiness shine through his eyes. _'He kissed me first...that /must/ mean he feels the same way...there /were/ other ways of shutting me up than kissing me, and he certainly seemed to enjoy it...so why does he look so afraid?'_

 

Afraid was an understatement; Remus looked to be in full-blown panic mode at the moment, because without ever taking his eyes off Sirius, he ran. He slid backwards off the bed and onto the floor, and Sirius winced at the loud THUMP his body made when it hit. But it didn't deter Remus in the slightest, because Remus just picked himself up and fairly flew out of the dorm, hitting the closed door at a run, the door smashing open. Sirius had no idea what just happened, but he did know that he had to go after Remus.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus sighed, closed his eyes, and laid his head back against the wall. Sirius had probably just been caught up in the moment; he probably didn't realize exactly _whom_ he had been kissing, and even if he did, he wouldn't have understood the implications. Remus ignored the little voice inside him that was telling him that he was underestimating Sirius; he couldn't face what might happen if Sirius really meant it when he kissed Remus back. _/You think too much, Moony./_ _'Well,'_ Remus thought wryly, _'he's right enough about that. It was thinking that got me into this mess.'_ Remus was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't notice the telltale sounds of someone sneaking up on him.

Just then, two hands descended and grasped him by the shoulders. Remus's eyes snapped open in surprise, only to narrow when he saw nothing in front of him.

"Sirius?" Remus asked, suspicious. The air in front of him rippled as Sirius removed the Invisibility Cloak, grinning sheepishly. Sirius sat down next to Remus, who stiffened at his closeness. Aside from a barely noticeable twitch, Sirius didn't act as if he noticed Remus's reaction at all.

"Why'd you run away, Moony?" Sirius asked casually, almost flippantly; only the fact that Sirius was sitting straight up instead of his customary slouch betrayed how nervous he was about Remus's answer. _'Please don't let him regret the kiss...if there's anyone up there at all, please don't let him regret kissing me...'_

"How did you find me?" Remus whispered, glancing at Sirius and then immediately looking away again.

Sirius gave a soft bark of laughter, reminiscent of Padfoot, and pulled out a ratty old blank piece of parchment. "The Map, of course! I got it and the Cloak out--remember how James left the Cloak so we could prank the Slytherins? --right after you ran out. Why _did_ you run out, anyway?"

"...I was afraid..." Remus admitted, looking down at his hands, which were clasped so tightly in his lap that the knuckles shone white. But Sirius reached out and pushed up Remus's chin, so Remus was now looking straight into Sirius's eyes. Remus gulped and lowered his eyes, but Sirius just lifted his chin up further. He leaned in a pressed his lips against Remus's in a soft, sweet kiss. Remus closed his eyes and melted into the kiss, willing it to go on forever, wishing he could just stay there like that with Sirius the rest of his life. He just wanted to sit there, kissing Sirius, and never have to answer the questions that would invariably be posed. But Sirius dashed his hopes by pulling back all too soon; Remus whimpered as Sirius's lips left his, and opened his eyes only to meet Sirius's again. _'I can't face those eyes, I just can't...they'll find out everything I want to keep hidden...'_ Remus snapped his eyes shut again, and heard Sirius sigh.

"Remus. Look at me," Sirius commanded, firmly but softly, in a voice that practically promised good things if Remus did what he wanted. Against his own judgment, Remus opened his eyes, and this time kept them open. He wasn't about to go against what Sirius wanted, not when he was looking at him in that way that spread that delicious warm feeling throughout Remus's stomach and groin.

"You liked that, didn't you, Moony?" Sirius asked huskily, and Remus nodded slowly, eyes still locked with Sirius's. "Would you like me to do it again?" Under that direct blue gaze, Remus couldn't be anything but honest, so he nodded again.

This time when their lips met, Sirius opened his mouth, and Remus followed suit. Their tongues reached out, met and tangled together, stroking against each other, both boys moaning and pressing against each other desperately. They could taste each other, chocolate and oranges and more mixing together until both boys grew heady with their combined scent. After a while, Sirius pulled back, eyes bright and breathing hard. He leaned his forehead against Remus's and smiled, and Remus could feel himself hesitantly smiling back.

"What are you so afraid of, Remus?" Sirius breathed. Remus sighed and closed his eyes, trying to think of how to put it. Sirius let him have his time to think and just sat there at his side, a warm, comforting presence that somehow clarified Remus's thoughts, rather than confusing them further.

"I'm afraid of me," Remus answered finally. "What if I hurt you? And I'm afraid of you. What if you leave me?"

"I'll just address both of those fears separately, okay?" Sirius asked, and Remus nodded. "First of all, you won't hurt me. If you're afraid of Moony hurting me, turning me, well, that's what Padfoot's for. And Padfoot's perfectly happy to play with Moony. As for Remus...the only way you could ever hurt me would be to leave me."

"But...but what if I'm too--too rough, or something?" Sirius blinked, and Remus flushed. _'Stupid, Remus! As if he was thinking about--that! Not everyone has the dirty mind that you do, after all!'_ Another blink, and then Sirius was flushing too. He coughed a bit, and then he smiled, a bit hesitantly, but it was still a smile.

"Ah...I don't think you need to worry about that. I don't think I'd mind. In fact, I'd probably like it," Sirius mumbled, face turning a charming shade of crimson.

"You--you would?" Remus asked, and flushed deeper when Sirius's eyes locked onto his again.

"I would," Sirius stated, then cleared his throat, his blush beginning to go away. "Ah, now for your other fear..." Sirius tucked a whisp of straying brown hair back behind Remus's ear before continuing. "I'd never leave you. Never. I'd rather die than leave you."

"You say you'd rather die than leave me, but Sirius, we're _young_. You can always change your mind, but me...if we...then I _can't_ go back on it, the wolf won't let me. You could change your mind and leave me, and I'll just have to deal with it." Remus didn't even notice the silent tears running down his cheeks. Sirius raised his hand and gently brushed the tears away, then let his hand rest on Remus's cheek. Remus leaned into Sirius's hand, his eyes never leaving Sirius's.

"I know what I feel, Remus. I'll never leave you, because I'll never want to. I love you, Remus. I'll stay with you as long as you want me to," Sirius said, trying desperately to get Remus to believe him. _'Please believe me, Remus. Please. I love you.'_

"The wolf--" Remus began, but Sirius interrupted him.

"How does the wolf feel about me?" Sirius demanded?

"The wolf loves you," Remus replied softly.

"And what about the human? What does the human feel?" Sirius asked, eyes intent on Remus.

"...the human loves you too," Remus whispered.

"Then let me love you, Remus. Please," Sirius pleaded. Remus opened his mouth to object, then realized that he had no real objections to make; none, at least, that Sirius would accept. Or that he particularly wanted to make. What was he so afraid of, really?

Remus pulled away and stood up abruptly, then offered his hand to Sirius, who took it and scrambled up, looking at him quizzically. He opened his mouth to speak, but Remus placed a finger on his lips, smiling broadly. "Let's go back to the dorm," Remus said, tugging on the hand that Sirius still held tightly in his own. Sirius looked momentarily confused, but then his eyes brightened with joy, and he eagerly set off with Remus. The two boys made their way back to their dorm room, hands clasped together as if meaning to never let go.

"Merry Christmas, Moony," Sirius said as they walked.

"Merry Christmas, Padfoot," Remus replied. _I was thinking about Christmas presents after all,_ Remus thought contentedly. _And this is the best one I ever got._


End file.
